It sometimes happens that grandma is absolutely crazy about her grandchildren. It happens that the whole world ceases to exist for her when the new baby arrives. She loves it with such devotion, as if their whole life depended on it. This reaction is sometimes normal for your mums or even mother-in-laws. It may happen that grandma loves so much because she has a large supply of unfulfilled love inside her. She may feel that she did not love her children enough when they were young, because "there was so much to do", work, home, numerous activities and children were often forgotten in all of this. Sometimes the grandma did not find fulfillment in marriage. Often, she also wants to repay her own children for not giving them enough affection. There are many reasons.
Nevertheless, such insatiable granny love can irritate mothers, daughters or daughter-in-laws. How should they react then? Should they keep the baby away from grandmother who cannot imagine life without their grandchildren? Inspect their time together? Bien magazine explores.
Talk about what bothers you
One thing is certain, if you cut off your children from their grandmother, both sides will suffer. If they are attached to each other, they will do everything to rebuild their relationship. Finally - forbidden fruit tastes so much better ... Hence, instead of resorting to radical steps, it is worth having a conversation with the mother or mother-in-law. Without attacking and throwing accusations explain your point of view and listen to what she has to say. Maybe you can avoid conflict. Maybe mum or mother-in-law does not even realise that she annoys you with her excessive love.
If your mum or mother-in-law interferes too much with your child's upbringing, she checks you at every step, does not talk but barks orders, then you have to remind her of her place.
Or is it jealousy?
On the other hand, ask yourself frankly, are you simply just jealous of the fact that your baby is attached to someone else as much as they are attached to you? Can excess love, in your concept, harm the baby? Or perhaps because the child was loved and felt accepted, they will enter their adulthood as a self-confident and self-worthy person? After all, we are sure you know how hard it is for adults to face life if their parents or grandparents did not love them or shown them any affection.
Good intentions
It is worth thinking about in what times your mum or mother-in-law came to bring you up or their other children. Maybe they were all alone and nobody helped them? In the past there was a tendency where a young mother had to deal with everything without help, her husband worked for the family and mother or mother-in-law had their own lives. Maybe now the female part of the family wants to give you what she never received - help?
As we wrote earlier – you need to talk about it. It may happen that you will come out of this conversation crying with emotions, as you both realise that you are fighting on the same side. It can also go the other way and end with aggression, slamming doors and long months of silence. Nevertheless, you need to analyse the whole situation and believe that a good solution will surely come.
Author: Bien Magazine
Photos: DepositPhotos
