Recall school, college, millions of pieces of information forced into your head which now you have no idea about, which even then seemed senseless or useless. Remember university, work time, when in a short time you had to learn how to work with a team of strangers. Someone taught you all of this. Therefore, you are - as a rule - a very efficient worker, a great director, brilliant doctor or other specialist. You still have to learn to improve your qualifications. Learning you have in your blood.
Now ask yourself – for how long have you been taught the art of being in a relationship? It turns out that this is an area where no one wants to teach people. Now, there are tips on the internet, in books, but - in general, hardly anyone takes on teaching others how to have a good marriage. Hence, it is hardly surprising that so many marriages are unhappy with each other. Find below our relationship tips and advice.
When the chemistry ends...
If you are interested in what happens in the brain of a person in love, look online for relevant information. Be warned – Information like this is sometimes shocking and it changes the worldview. It turns out that falling in love has nothing mystical or romantic in it, a cosmic or divine power does not work here, nothing but pure chemistry and hormones in the brain connects two people. Of course, there has to be some degree of compatibility present, for the chemistry to work. But there are situations when the brain would create such confusion that you will fall in love with someone who after the initial „in love” period will prove to be a complete stranger.
When the chemistry is over, the reality and everyday life start. And here many stumble and it's very painful. Because suddenly great passion vanishes, partner’s flaws become visible, their phobias and habits and you start to get irritated. Mutual politeness also ends, the desire to idealise and be eternally willing to compromise fade. Here begins the real school of a relationship. Here you have to learn DAILY both of your reactions, constantly talk to each other to build a lasting relationship. The bad news is - it will not happen on its own.
He has changed after the wedding!
Remind yourself how many times you heard from your friends the sentence, that one of the partners has changed after the wedding, or after some time of being together, unrecognisable. Yes, they changed, because the chemistry of falling in love disappeared. You had to cope without boosters and "steroids". And this, like every important issue in life is difficult and does not come on its own, without great and daily fight for the relationship.
Forcefulness in a relationship
If in your relationship either of you denounces with disgust what we wrote in the title of the article: "I have to make him or her breakfast" or "I have to..." (here freely fill the rest of the sentence – we hope you do not have to complete it, because you do not „have to” do anything but always "want"), that means that it is bad. If you are irritated by the everyday little things, the need to help each other, making the other person’s life easier, we suggest that it is time for a serious conversation. If the things had gone further - perhaps it is time to visit a marriage counselor? The problem is that this "I have to" can grow and build a sense of genuine dislike towards your partner.
Author: Bien Magazine
Photos: DepositPhotos
